Sunday, August 26, 2007

a night day out...

this is quite ridiculous,into the 1st week of classes and i gone to a place to drink and also to a pub at uptown.but,drinking is not allowed for people who are under 21..so one good point there. i feel that those places doesn't fit me well. i don't fit into those crowds where they dance and stuff. just not me...somehow i feel there is a contrasting differences between me and my sister. my sister is quite outgoing, sociable and also fun, wheareas i am the type who is shy and quiet.
we went to Liz's apartment...there was a whole big crowd of people there who some i don't even know.instead of making friends and introducing myself...i just stood there like a lamp pole,doing absolutely nothing.sometimes i feel i am an outcast there.i think i did made eye contact and she noticed it but then i just can't find the courage to talk to her...something inside me that is just hidden. Maybe that the problem. if i just open up and say something, things will change..
most people are already one step ahead of me,and i feel that i am way behind....If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. I still have that dream.

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